Burnout?
28-5-2025
These last two weeks I have had burnout.
My brain just stopped functioning in every day tasks.
I fumble when I cook.
I fumble when I clean.
I fumble when I make plans.
My mind is just noise when I get home from work.
Man what the h*ck is going on.
My plan for getting my focus back:
* Exercise more
* Socially interact more
* Eating more food, more properly.
* Doing less work.
* Reading news.
Why I do not get inspired?
9-5-2025
I think I have figured out the reason why I don't get inspired when I go outside.
Things just aren't how I want them to be.
Society is ugly.
I should maybe be more pushy with getting things the way I want them.
I want beauty and I will get it.
Creating Inspiration
14-4-2025
With my writings I want to inspire people.
I want to teach people what is the path.
I want to make people believe that doing the right thing will lead to reward.
I want to make people disregard their robotic internal structures and trust their animalistic instincts.
I want to show people that we still live on the savannah, just with a few extra steps.
I want to reactive those animalistic instincs that once were active inside you, but dissapeared, probably because of fear.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of poverty.
Fear of death.
Fear of supernatural God.
The internal neurological mountain of garbage that has buried people's souls I want to just rinse out.
I know I can.
One day people will see clearly and wonder how they could go blind without even realising it.
I understand my ability to see this clearly is an absolutely rare thing.
Even more beautiful is that I can share it, I can reprogram people to see again.
I feel sad for people who do not have my wisdom, for it is invaluable.
I don't understand how anyone lives without it.
It gives me strength 'til the end of the world.
I will show people that real work gets you real money.
Nonsense makes you poor.
Familiar Vibes
12-4-2025
I must say these last few years have made me feel like a five year old again.
After High School I haven't participated in any big social things, no interest.
Just me noseing around, a simple and extremely satisfying existence.
Inspiration
8-4-2025
I go out every day with the hopes of finding something inspirational.
I also look on youtube and read web history in the hopes of finding something inspirational.
I just feel empty.
It's like everything is dead and uninspiring.
Society is dead, maybe tied to high taxes and communism.
The web is somewhat dead and highly disorganized, maybe also tied to high taxes and communism, what goes on in society is sort of reflected on the web, the two are interlinked.
This lack of inspiration is making me barely function as a human, I fumble and blunder constantly in my day to day life.
I feel so weak.
The web is the thing that inspires me the most though.
I love web history, tech, computer graphics, coding.
I want to feel strong, capable, inspired and in control again, I really miss that.
I work towards that every day, that is what I should do.
More strength, more focus, more control, less fumbling, less distractions, less sidetracks.
I feel disoriented, but also I feel like the last person alive that remembers order and reality, which makes me feel a great sense of duty.
or eh I sometimes meet people, mostly other hikikomoris or gamers online, who remember the time before the normies ruined the balance.
I achieve control and focus again and the realm survives, balance is restored, I don't and the realm is forever lost to the autism void.
An entire world that is neurosocially disoriented, I will fix this tangled world, I will make everyone see again.
One day I will be in control, strong, inspired, productive again.
I just have to keep gaining focus.
I have to keep looking for inspiration.
I will eventually walk past something/someone interesting.
Disney-esque perception of Hitler
27-3-2025
When I was little I thought Hitler was some sort of jack-of-all-trades genius because of how he was described.
I was in a WW2 museum in England and it had a V2 shell and the text said "Hitlers V2" and I thought wow he was a general and an engineer that's crazy.
You know like Disney where you were supposed to believe he was a one man army who sort of did everything.
Turned out later that wasn't really the case.
Being tough on surrounding
12-3-2025
It's important to be tough on your surrounding, not getting soft.
Demand the doctors to give you the earliest times.
Demand the cooks to not use any micro plastic or teflon garbage.
Demand the store owners to explain their sh*t.
Always be a bit demanding.
It is better to be too hard than to be too soft.(If you are logos, catto)
Though do not be a fascist that is cringe.
I have gotten a bit soft due to being bored and understimulated these past years, but I am regaining my toughness on my surrounding.
We keep crawling forward, that's life.
I dislike cars
26-2-2025
I really don't like being in cars that drive on high speed roads.
I like trains, E-bikes and separated sidewalks/bike roads.
I feel like a peasant when I am in a car on a high speed road.
It's not safe, it's not useful enough to warrant me getting a driving license.
Low Energy
20-2-2025
I really h*te those energy dips where you get so slow things stay in your head because you forget to write them down, I want to have enough energy to atleast write my ideas down,
then I feel okay.
I need to keep reminding myself,
write down everything!
write down everything!
write down everything!
write down everything!
write down everything!
Vandringsmaxx, Kingtrip
2-2-2025
The most important part of my schedule is the vandringsmaxx, kingtrip.
I jog/bike every single day.
I bring some food with me.
I maybe take the train to another city, like Stockholm, and bring my bike along with me.
I maybe say hi to my bros.
I have the WAN show/general news on the radio.
I visit all the pop spots, high points, town squares, universities, libraries.
I read the posters.
I chase that sense of being up to date with all the relevant things.
Cardiovascular exercise is no.1 for brain, and well stroke runs in my family.
I've read that the chance of relapse in the case of stroke is significantly reduced if the patient takes regular walks after the stroke.
Sittande fågel får inget as they say.
Run/bike like a fool everyday!
Remember exercise is no.1 so if you need a snack to motivate yourself to go out do that.
I go for snacks that are on the more nutrious side.
Don't stop moving!
During Journal
26-1-2025
In here I write random small things I think of during my day, chronological order, for me to reflect on my progress.
Current status:
* Uninspired
* Unentertained
* Unimpressed
* Uninspired
* Unentertained
* Unimpressed
* Uninspired
* Unentertained
* Unimpressed
* Uninspired
* Unentertained
* Unimpressed
* Uninspired
* Unentertained
* Unimpressed