The Old System and The New System
07-11-2024
Switching from the old system to the new system is often a case of paralell maintanence with an eventual complete ditch of the old system.
The two systems are fundamentally incompatible and thus the new can not just gradually replace the old.
Both systems are developed forward creating the illusion that the old is not to die, but it really is just "taking the water out of the sinking ship until the life boats arrive"
Early adopters of the new system do not get much except for the satisfation of doing honest work and being pioneers/frontiers written into the history books.
Finding Inspiration
05-11-2024
While I've enjoyed beauty all my life, when I got asperger I got dependant on it.
I love science, math, history, computers, coding, music and art.
Though I can only bring myself to act when I am surrounded by beauty.
Beautiful people of beautiful character and beautiful weather and beautiful buildings and beautiful landscapes.
I feel very human because of it, but also I feel pathetically weak.
My brain refuses to move unless it is given beauty.
I should make a beauty list as to make sure I never run out of it haha.
I have no clue how britain stays productive.
I see the future, it is beautiful.
I wish I was more diligent, instead of lame and dopamine addicted.
I want the future to be here now, why do I have zero diligence now? what was god's intention with this?
I miss being diligent, I used to be so diligent you would think I took meth, but really was just a freak of nature when it comes to diligence.
What will it take for my diligence to come back?
I am looking for solutions to my lack of diligence, I will find a solution.
I do not even have wanderlust, which is the common reaction to lacking drive, what could be the cause of this lack of work drive?
I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing when I think my surrounding is lame and unentertaining.
Judging the beauty of the world is half of my job.
I feel my inattentiveness is warranted.
No beauty, no work.
My inattentiveness won't go anywhere until I find beauty.
And my brain is not just satisifed with mediocre beauty, it requires extreme beauty, cosmic beauty, as fuel.
Beauty that bends time and space.
You would think that I should feel extreme wanderlust because of my surrounding lacking beauty, though no matter how much I try to ignite my wanderlust through walking and traveling to other cities I stay mentally passive, as if something needs to poke my mind before I can care about anything.
I only have vague ideas of what my mind wants to break it's working strike.
If only it could tell me so I could give it to it and stop being so bored.
I will just keep throwing things at it until it activates again.
Especially locations, I hope some location will activate my brain again.
Libraries, parks, universities, high-grounds, fren-rooms, cafes, workplaces, concerts, museums, galleries.
Anything that makes my mind come alive I take note of.
I also do a bit of creativity/work every day hoping my brain will end it's working strike if it just gets a taste of work.
Being Real
19-10-2024
My entire life I have strongly valued being real about my and others competence.
I feel this is the absolute optimal.
While sure you might please your surrounding short term by love bombing them, that is no way to design your life.
People are okay with not being the smartest in the room because it creates a better whole, a functioning society, when people are where they are supposed to be.
People are the happiest being in their place in the hierarchy, where they can contribute the most.
People generally act like cocks when they do not get enough attention, not because they are not the smartest.
People are okay with not being the best as long as their contribution is recognized.
I always try to figure out how I can make a person better rather than just pretend here and now they are good, and they will thank you for it later.
No one, not even the idiot themselves, wants the idiot to run the nuclear power plant.
At first it might be fun to be in such a high position and get the all the glory that comes with it, but when you get a nuclear explosion you really wish you just worked as a cleaner.
First Journal Entry
26-09-2024
What does a Journal Include?
A journal is not like a diary, entires are reflections and texts that can be, but must not be, related to the day they were written.
Smaller texts, reflections and thoughts about things in chronological order.
Why am I starting a journal?
I am starting a journal because I want a system that has:
* Chronological posting like twitter.
* Photos and illustrations like Instagram.
* Size of a html document.
* Informality of a journal.
All of these I get here!
Some thoughts and entires here will of course make it into other parts or even entirely own documents/books/works.
This is informal documentation of brain-scatter for me to look at when I want to take a step back and think about wtf I am doing.
I think it also can be fun for my followers to get a look inside my mind, which I think this best does.
Twitter posts are too contrained, Instagram as well, youtube takes too much dedication.
A journal is the perfect balance of everything.
Something that has been high up on my todo list is the website index overhaul.
At the moment it is just a list of links.
It needs to become more organized:
* All the social media links should get a top bar
* The front of the website should be relevant news + journal.
* A toggle switches between news view and apps/sections view.
There is a big, really big, chance that I will turn this into a diary since already I am using it more like a diary and less like a journal.
Journals are thoughtful sections of texts, this just meesy lines about my day.
Actually I have looked it up and and a diary is more of a raw log and a journal is more about reflections, interesting ideas and thoughts acquired during the day.
Journal it is!
I do not talk so much about what I did the day, but what I thought of that day.